This Is Interesting #7

January 31, 2019 Mark

Sometimes even gaming we can find meaning in our grief. Grief is not valueless nor vapid it offers us much. Music even happy music makes us grieve.

This Is Interesting #6

January 30, 2019 Mark

You can phone your grief in. Art and grief creates real healing and hope. Polite dinner conversations should include death and dying.

Grieving 101 & More

January 23, 2019 Mark

Have you ever filed an article in a read later folder and a week or two later open it and smack yourself because you hadn't read it sooner? I did and here is this gem on grief, grieving, and more. An important piece on grief and loss.

This is Interesting #5

January 14, 2019 Mark

Yiyun Li’s stunning story about death and grief, Seneca the Greek philosopher in 41 examines grief, and arranging funerals and grief. I add my experience with that exercise.

Employers, Employees, and Grieving

January 9, 2019 Mark

Employees and employers are the single most important community to help with grief, grief support, and mourning.

This Is Interesting #4

January 8, 2019 Mark

Some links on How Should You Grieve, Closure Is Indifference, and Death and Grief in the Digital Age

This Is Interesting #3

December 28, 2018 Mark

End-of-Life A film examines how death is what we all face yet most run in fear. “No Me Dejas” a brilliant Science Fiction short story about transferring memories. It’s what we do with loss and grief. A short paper on Death, Grief, and Family Dynamics.

This is Interesting #2

December 25, 2018 Mark

How to have a better death, Rums (just because), some grief lasts a lifetime, and how to learn from great loss.

This Is Interesting #1

December 24, 2018 Mark

What I found interesting this week. East vs. West concept of last words, what makes life meaningful at the end-of-life, and judging others grief.

Allowing Grief to Sculpt Your Future Self

December 12, 2018 Mark

I can see myself reflected in the grief of my loss and that reflection is not static. It is dynamic and moves forward the in ripples and eddies of a stream even as I stand in place.

The Idiosyncratic Nature of Grief and The Benefits of Solitude

November 18, 2018 Mark

I guess my first goal is to find the peace in the solitude of writing, the book, blog posts, and not jump up to do something else. To learn to sit and listen quietly to my inner voice. To not look at what’s next or what do I do to fill the time with chores and acts.

Shhh Can You Hear Your Grief Playlist

November 13, 2018 Mark

The iPod Original was a 2001 Christmas gift from Donna

Grief is a playlist playing in the background. It is the sound track of your life after the loss of a loved one. Some turn it off and find a new list. Others listen to their and dance to it or sing or cry or let it just play. It is your playlist and your choice.

My Grief is My Sims

November 1, 2018 Mark

My Sims avatar of Donna

When we grieve we live in a world created by death and memories. That world does not have to be stagnant it can be dynamic and healing. Grief mimics the worlds Sims players create and thrive in. We can thrive in our Sims like world of grief and memories.

Even In Hospice She Remained Donna

October 26, 2018 Mark

During her time in hospice she was on the knife edge of death yet there were some very Donna moments. She did not loose herself to death she remained true to her being. At the end she gave me the gift of being Donna.

Remembering What You Don’t Remember Is Important

October 10, 2018 Mark

Donna at the cottage in Cape Elizabeth, Maine

Those memories (skills) Donna had died with her. Though they were effectively removed from my heart they were not lost as much as witnesses to deficits in my life now. Twice a year when I am faced with changing the shames and duvet I remember what I didn’t remember, Donna did this.

Unmasking The Messages within Grief

October 4, 2018 Mark

It seems when I come to a point in my grief journey that I feel I have a fixed end point or place of repose I find a new fork in the road. A new path to examine and come to another understanding no matter how brief or tenuous. Grief, in a fashion, is organic learning.

What Determines Supportive Behavior for the Grieving

October 1, 2018 Mark

Helpful, timely social support is the single strongest determinants for those grieving to arrive at positive psychosocial outcomes. The ability to modify many if any of the factors impacting our individual grieving journey cannot be modified after the fact to the extent that social support can.

Untangling The Narrative of My Grief Avatar

September 3, 2018 Mark

It's not as if grief speaks to me per se. It is more that in this state of grief whether roiling or calm grief heightens my awareness. I hear a phrase, read a passage, listen to a song and think about it. Just think and learn. Learning is the only thing that changes our consciousness. Even within this state of grief driven knowledge I wonder, am I missing today and tomorrow because my vision is in my rear view mirror? Can I untangle myself from looking back to construct a new environment for my emotions to reside?

This Too Shall Pass When I Say So and On My Terms

August 25, 2018 Mark

I am not sure I ever really tried to achieve closure or even considered it. Closure is a myth. Closure is indifference. Closure is denial said pretty.

"Love Is Watching Someone Die"*

August 20, 2018 Mark

Hospice is about dying well. There is no good death. Any death is bad and painful but dying well surrounded by friends family loved ones changes the dynamic for both the patient and the family. It makes the time to the finite end better and kinder and comfortable but more important is the time after death. That is our long darkness, the time after death of a loved one.