Yiyun Li’s stunning story about death and grief, Seneca the Greek philosopher in 41 examines grief, and arranging funerals and grief. I add my experience with that exercise.
Read moreThis is Interesting #5
M. C. Escher
Employers, Employees, and Grieving
Somewhere in Italy
Employees and employers are the single most important community to help with grief, grief support, and mourning.
Read moreThis Is Interesting #4
M.C. Escher
Some links on How Should You Grieve, Closure Is Indifference, and Death and Grief in the Digital Age
Read moreThis Is Interesting #3
M.C. Escher
End-of-Life A film examines how death is what we all face yet most run in fear. “No Me Dejas” a brilliant Science Fiction short story about transferring memories. It’s what we do with loss and grief. A short paper on Death, Grief, and Family Dynamics.
Read moreThis is Interesting #2
M.C. Escher
How to have a better death, Rums (just because), some grief lasts a lifetime, and how to learn from great loss.
Read moreThis Is Interesting #1
What I found interesting this week. East vs. West concept of last words, what makes life meaningful at the end-of-life, and judging others grief.
Read moreAllowing Grief to Sculpt Your Future Self
I can see myself reflected in the grief of my loss and that reflection is not static. It is dynamic and moves forward the in ripples and eddies of a stream even as I stand in place.
Read moreThe Idiosyncratic Nature of Grief and The Benefits of Solitude
I guess my first goal is to find the peace in the solitude of writing, the book, blog posts, and not jump up to do something else. To learn to sit and listen quietly to my inner voice. To not look at what’s next or what do I do to fill the time with chores and acts.
Read moreShhh Can You Hear Your Grief Playlist
The iPod Original was a 2001 Christmas gift from Donna
Grief is a playlist playing in the background. It is the sound track of your life after the loss of a loved one. Some turn it off and find a new list. Others listen to their and dance to it or sing or cry or let it just play. It is your playlist and your choice.
Read moreMy Grief is My Sims
My Sims avatar of Donna
When we grieve we live in a world created by death and memories. That world does not have to be stagnant it can be dynamic and healing. Grief mimics the worlds Sims players create and thrive in. We can thrive in our Sims like world of grief and memories.
Read moreEven In Hospice She Remained Donna
During her time in hospice she was on the knife edge of death yet there were some very Donna moments. She did not loose herself to death she remained true to her being. At the end she gave me the gift of being Donna.
Read moreRemembering What You Don’t Remember Is Important
Donna at the cottage in Cape Elizabeth, Maine
Those memories (skills) Donna had died with her. Though they were effectively removed from my heart they were not lost as much as witnesses to deficits in my life now. Twice a year when I am faced with changing the shames and duvet I remember what I didn’t remember, Donna did this.
Read moreUnmasking The Messages within Grief
It seems when I come to a point in my grief journey that I feel I have a fixed end point or place of repose I find a new fork in the road. A new path to examine and come to another understanding no matter how brief or tenuous. Grief, in a fashion, is organic learning.
Read moreWhat Determines Supportive Behavior for the Grieving
Helpful, timely social support is the single strongest determinants for those grieving to arrive at positive psychosocial outcomes. The ability to modify many if any of the factors impacting our individual grieving journey cannot be modified after the fact to the extent that social support can.
Read moreUntangling The Narrative of My Grief Avatar
It's not as if grief speaks to me per se. It is more that in this state of grief whether roiling or calm grief heightens my awareness. I hear a phrase, read a passage, listen to a song and think about it. Just think and learn. Learning is the only thing that changes our consciousness. Even within this state of grief driven knowledge I wonder, am I missing today and tomorrow because my vision is in my rear view mirror? Can I untangle myself from looking back to construct a new environment for my emotions to reside?
Read moreThis Too Shall Pass When I Say So and On My Terms
I am not sure I ever really tried to achieve closure or even considered it. Closure is a myth. Closure is indifference. Closure is denial said pretty.
Read more"Love Is Watching Someone Die"*
Hospice is about dying well. There is no good death. Any death is bad and painful but dying well surrounded by friends family loved ones changes the dynamic for both the patient and the family. It makes the time to the finite end better and kinder and comfortable but more important is the time after death. That is our long darkness, the time after death of a loved one.
Read moreRevisiting The Insipid Nature of Grief: The Horse Latitudes
Identifying my journey as starting at caregiving seems odd since there is a whole shit load of years prior to that 2009 moment when you learn your wife of 28+ years has advanced cancer and six months to live. I guess that is where life for me began, with the specter of death looming over us both. Life begins at death? How odd
Read moreAugust 7, 2011 5:50PM An End A Beginning
From July till August the waves of memories rage and roil within me so much so that I go back and bring forward what was to what is. I wish I could follow one of Donna’s mantra’s “There’s a reason they call it history. It happened then.” During Dying Season then is now.
Read moreOur 9/11 Story
At 8:45 plane engines overhead rattled the building so severely I instinctively ducked my head into my keyboard. Seconds later there was what could only be described as an explosion.
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